NhasangStyle: So Blessed to Be Alive Today

As I woke up this morning and thought about what to write on today’s blog, I came across this TED talk that brought me to tears. “Everything happens for a reason”- and other lies I’ve loved by Kate Bowler. Four years ago, Kate got a call in her office with result of her scans. She was diagnosed with stage IV cancer at age 35. It was her prime time in life, she was working at her dream job, married to her high school sweetheart and they have an adorable little son together.

While rushing to the hospital, she began to question everything. Why is this happening to her? Haven’t she been good enough? In a society where we believe good things happen to good people and that God will always reward you for your good deeds, that “was a mindset that served me well until it didn’t, until I was confronted with something I couldn’t manage my way out of”, says Kate. She had to face the fact that her life was built with paper walls, and so is ours. After she got sick, she wrote about her experience in the New York Times, and asked the readers: How do you live without quite so many reasons for the bad things that happen? Would it be better to live without outrageous formulas for why people deserve what they get? After the article was published, thousands of responses started to flood into her mailbox.

What Kate didn’t expect was that thousands of readers wrote it back in defense that there must be a reason for what happened to her. Kate explained that people wanted her accept that her cancer was all part of a plan and that “there is a hidden logic to this seeming chaos”.

We want reasons. We want to know that our handwork and dedication will be paid off. We want to believe that everything happens for a reason and that every hardship is just a test that will lead us to a better future. But, when we are faced with a life or death situation, how do we reason with that? What Kate learned is that there is “no easy correlation between how hard she try and the length of her life”.

As a cancer patient, Kate has experience way more pain and trauma in the last three years than she could ever imagined. When Kate accepted the fact that she was going to die, she didn’t feel angry. She felt loved. Amid of life’s most fragile and toughest moment, she experienced love, a kind of “love she found hard to explain”. In those moments, she felt more connected to the people around her because her own suffering revealed the suffering of others. We all have our own wounds, big or small. Everyone is just trying to survive in their own ways.

The world is full of beautiful yet tragic events. Somedays, life is filled of hope and joy. Other days, life is filled with hate and hardship. Kate is starting to believe that these opposites do not cancel each other. Lastly, she shares that she is learning to “live and to love without counting the cost, without reasons and assurances that nothing will be lost”. Life will crush you and you may hit rock bottom but even then, there is beauty in the darkness. Do not lose hope and forget the love you have around you. Take care of yourself and your health.